The End of Attachment: Healing After Family Estrangement

Renowned psychologist Dr. Dana Baerger takes a fresh, science-informed approach to navigating trauma-driven family rupture, helping estranged adult children navigate the best path forward— whether that means reconciliation or continued distance. Estrangement affects an estimated 90 million people in the U.S. alone, yet our understanding of this widespread phenomenon remains outdated and oversimplified, often privileging the perspective of estranged parents and promoting reconciliation as the only goal. In The End of Attachment, Dr. Baerger expertly blends cutting-edge science with clinical wisdom to correct the myths around estrangement and guide readers through a process of self-reflection, explaining why peace doesn’t always include reconciliation. Dr. Baerger uses research to illuminate different types of family estrangement, helping readers identify constructive ways to move forward. She also introduces the concept of Posttraumatic Family Estrangement, a term she developed to describe a type of estrangement driven by unresolved intergenerational trauma rather than by typical family conflict. This groundbreaking framework synthesizes new insights from attachment theory and interpersonal neurobiology to explain how the experience of family harm rewires the brain and nervous system. Readers will learn to tend to their well-being by making choices from a place of compassion and self-respect. They’ll be empowered with practical tools that support healthy connection, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of purpose. And they will gain clarity on whether repair is possible, or whether stepping away from destructive family patterns is a necessary act of survival.